Sad but True
by IOnlyDateEmpaths
Summary: Song-Fic: Edward hears Sad but True by Metallica and thinks about the lyrics.


Author`s note: I do not own Twilight or Sad But True. I played this on guitar hero and it just seemed like the kind of thing Edward would say about himself. Review! It`s been used in other genres but not Twilight as far as I know.

I sighed and stretched out on the bed. It was one of those rare days when Edward just needed personal space, just a few hours where he wasn`t fighting bloodlust. He had promised he would come at four, and I was counting down the seconds. I could barely find a reason to breathe without him here, and I knew that wasn`t a good thing. Charlie was fishing, so I had tried to sleep late so as not to feel alone for too long. I realised, not for the first time, that Edward was part of me. I needed him.

I flipped open my CD player and put in the first disc I saw. _The Black Album_, by _Metallica_. It played the next song, one of those songs that were my favourite that eventually became forgotten.

_Hey I'm your life  
I'm the one who takes you there  
Hey I'm your life  
I'm the one who cares  
They, They betray  
I'm your only true friend now  
They, They'll betray  
I'm forever there_

The lyrics never really meant much to me; I just felt that they were an angry rant, a way for James Hetfield to release stress. I focused on the rhythm, the rift, and soon I was drifting off.

Edward POV

I was through my Bella`s open window with twenty minutes to spare. She was sleeping, snoring very quietly as her beautiful chest rose and fell. She had obviously not been planning on sleeping now. Her sweats were on the floor by her wardrobe, and I could tell that she was barely dressed. I tried not to think about that, or about her delicious scent. I could hear the song she was listening to through her headphones. She must have put it on repeat. It was Sad but True, by Metallica. A set of lines caught my eye - or, rather, ear.

_I'm your dream, make you real  
I'm your eyes when you must steal  
I'm your pain when you can't feel  
Sad but true_

My God, this song described me perfectly. I`m your pain when you can`t feel – It reminded me of how much pain I caused her. Physical and mental.

_I'm your dream, mind astray  
I'm your eyes while you're away  
I'm your pain while you repay  
You know it's sad but true_

I broke into tearless sobs as I remembered how many plans I had made for her murder when I first met her. They were so detailed, and flawless. Then I stayed in her room one night, and when I saw her face touched by love as she whispered my name in her sleep, I abandoned my ideas. I put all my infinite energy into keeping her safe.

I remembered seeing fear flash in her eyes every now and then at the horrors of what I truly was, though she would never admit that I scared her.

I remembered seeing her beautiful face twisted in pain as she clutched her broken leg, her screams as I sucked James` venom out through the bite on her wrist. I remembered her tear filled eyes as I told her that I didn`t want her. I remembered knowing she was hurting, knowing it was all my fault...

_I'm your dream,  
I'm your eyes,  
I'm your pain_

I`m your pain. Three words that summed me up completely. I hurt her so much, so many times, yet she still loved me.

_Hate, I'm your hate  
I'm your hate when you want love  
Pay, Pay the price  
Pay for nothing's fair_

Nothing was fair on Bella. All the suffering she went through, and for what? To spend her life with a monster from children`s nightmares and horror films. I hated myself for being me, for putting her life in danger. I didn`t want to leave her. Not again. I felt it was right. She may die from the pain, and I would follow. I would force Aro`s hand, and nothing would stop me this time.

_I'm your truth, telling lies  
I'm your reasoned alibis  
I'm inside open your eyes  
I'm you_

I realised, with that last line, that if I left she _would_ die. I would take away her reason to live. It had gone on too long. Our souls were one, she was my mate, and one could not leave without breaking the other. I felt my love move under my arm, and realised she had been saying my name. She was finally stirring. With a lightning fast movement, I turned off the CD player, but the song lingered in my mind. I could not leave her. I would kill her one day, because I feared killing her by leaving. She would essentially take her life by loving me. Loving me more than herself.

_Sad but true_


End file.
